


The Worst Villain Name

by flamebirds



Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Pure Crack, SO, because like, logical steps my dudes, slade went by his first name, this is really weird, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-15 02:28:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14781926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flamebirds/pseuds/flamebirds
Summary: "Dick", he says and it takes some self-control not to use the villain's name as an insult. (He wants to, he really wants to; there are dozens of different options, just waiting to be used). "Did you choose that name? Or did mommy and daddy just hate you that much?"Or:AU, where Slade is a hero and Dick, is a villain going by his first name.





	The Worst Villain Name

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SuperBatgirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperBatgirl/gifts).



> Ily Supes. Thanks for listening to my very weird, nearly incoherent rambles.

The first time Slade hears about Dick (god, it even sounds wrong in his mind), is after the HIVE Five have kicked him and his teammates out of Titans Tower and kicked their asses. The Titans managed to get the Tower back, but then Gizmo calls their apparent boss and that's the moment that Slade thinks everything went to shit.

"Cram it!" Gizmo says. "I'm calling Dick!"

Slade pauses. He's not entirely sure if Gizmo actually just said that or if he just hit his head a little too hard in the fight. But Beast Boy has let out a splutter of laughter and Raven has raised an eyebrow and he's pretty certain now that the HIVE Five were hired by a villain.

A villain named Dick. Because of course, they were.

Slade picked the midget up, slamming him up against the wall. "Who is Dick?" And yeah, that definitely sounds weird now that he says aloud and even Cyborg looks like he's gonna laugh. Why couldn't they get a villain with a normal name or at least one that didn't mean 'penis'?

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

* * *

The next time he meets his soon-to-be-arch-enemy-with-the-worst-name-imaginable, he starts the conversation with a kick to his face. 

"Slade", he says. "We meet at last."

"Who are you?" He asks, bo-staff in hand. There's a lot more stuff he would rather do than fight some random old dude on top of a mountain, but here he is. The sooner it's over, the better, so he charges forward.

And kind of gets knocked aside, which is a first.

It turns out the old man might actually know what he's doing. And what he's doing is kicking Slade's ass, much to his annoyance.

The old man picks him up by the front of his tunic.

"Is that the best you can do?"

There's a flash of lightning and Slade manages to escape the guy's grasp, looking up just in time to see the mask give way to another one and--

"Dick", he says and it takes some self-control not to use the villain's name as an insult. (He wants to, he really wants to; there are dozens of different options, just waiting to be used). "Did you choose that name? Or did mommy and daddy just hate you that much?"

If his reaction is anything to go by, it would appear that Dick has a lot of parental issues.

* * *

 

Slade's plan might not be the best. It might not even be okay or reasonable but goddamn it, Dick is starting to annoy him.

He can't find anything on the man, or where he came from. It's like there's nothing out there at all like he's a ghost.

So, Slade decides to do the completely normal thing: dress up as a criminal, get close to Dick, probably take the piss out of his name and then punch him in the face. It's a little more complex than that, but those are the basic parts.

"Excellent work", Dick says. "I couldn't have done it better myself.

Slade resists the urge to make any sort of joke. "So, do we have a deal?"

"Indeed. You and I are so very much alike." Apart from the dumb name, Slade thinks. "It seems only natural that we should be partners."

"What are they for?" Slade asks. "I need to know what we're planning... partner."

"Patience. You can't expect me to trust you with such sensitive information right away, can you, Robin?"

 _Shit_.

 

 

* * *

 

After only getting away due to the Teen Titans intervening, Slade had maybe become obsessed with finding out who Dick is. Firstly, his name couldn't possibly be Dick. No one would willingly go around calling themselves that, especially not someone trying to be a supervillain.

He decides that Dick is just one weird fucker.

As it turned out, that analysis was pretty accurate. (Seriously, who looks for a _kid_ to be your apprentice? Everyone knows you go for clones these days).

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm too sleepy and sore to write anymore so have this weird ass one shot made from the random thoughts floating around the back of my strange, strange brain.


End file.
